How to control my anger/ temper

I always heard this from my hubby on me need to control my temper/ anger. With having a little girl around, this is quite important as it has become one of the things I been trying to improve as a mum. I am not the most perfect mum with the perfect behaviour but i love my child that is the most important factor. Below are some information I have come across 10 tips to help get your anger under control

1. Take a 'timeout.' Although it may seem cliche, counting to 10 before reacting really can defuse your temper.


2. Get some space. Take a break from the person you're angry with until your frustrations subside a bit.


3. Once you're calm, express your anger. It's healthy to express your frustration in a nonconfrontational way. Stewing about it can make the situation worse.


4. Get some exercise. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.


5. Think carefully before you say anything. Otherwise, you're likely to say something you'll regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues. When you're angry, it's easy to get sidetracked.


6. Identify solutions to the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand.


7. Use 'I' statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticizing or placing blame, which can make the other person angry or resentful — and increase tension. For instance, say, "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework."


8. Don't hold a grudge. If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.


9. Use humor to release tensions. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's can hurt feelings and make things worse.


10. Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "Take it easy." Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga. Haha doing yoga is something i hardly do... may be jogging..

Another found

Steps1 Use the "F.L.O.W." method to calm down when you are boiling" Ads by Google Manage Your Anxiety NowA Trans4mational Way to Manage Anxiety Act NOW... Call 9186 3575 http://www.trans4mationaltherapy.com/

F is for Focus: If you feel that you're about to lose your temper, try to focus and remain grounded. Use deep breathing or counting to get your brain thinking rationally.

Tell yourself that you are not going to explode and repeat "I am not going to lose it" several times over, so that the message sinks in internally.

L is for Listen: When you are in a situation that makes you angry, or you are in disagreement with someone, try to really listen to them and empathise with them. Our ability to empathise with others is critical in being able to listen well; if you are not able to empathise, you are not really able to hear. Try to understand the conflict from their point of view; people will value and respect you for listening to them.

O is for Objectivity: If you're in disagreement with someone, try not to take it personally. When you take something that someone else has said personally, you lose all form of objectivity. It is critical that you identify that you are taking it personally. Then you have a choice about how you want to respond. Try to stay objective about the situation, and this will help you to not become angry. Objectivity is an indicator of maturity and helps you to have much healthier relationships.

W is for Wait: People with anger management problems tend to react to situations immediately, without taking the time to consider their reaction.

If you feel like you're about to explode or lose your temper, try to take a moment to think and reflect before you react. Use this time to think about what the consequences of an angry outburst would be. Waiting is a very successful indicator that you are managing your anger. You will feel really liberated and the whole process of managing anger becomes fun.

2 Follow through these steps every time that you encounter a situation that drives you to feel anger.

Let "F.L.O.W." be the mantra that flows through you each time a situation triggering anger arises. # Cease to get angry at situations over which you have no control. Traffic jams, slow queues, strikes, broken appliances etc. are all laws unto themselves and being angry at them is only going to make your own blood boil; it won't change the status quo.

Be productive not angry and use your skills to effect change, such as planning a different route home using a map or GPS, asking a neighbour for a lift during a bus strike or phoning a plumber when the washing machine breaks.

3 Learn the difference between angry expression of your opinions and issues and assertiveness. Many people never learn this and continue to think that yelling, cursing and blowing their top is asserting themselves. It is not; it is reacting in a heated fashion and not using reasoned discussion.

If you have trouble managing this distinction and your anger, seek professional counseling, or join an anger management group to learn coping techniques and to undo bad habits.